Teiko Crime Bureau: The Misadventures
by xxEnnelAikuMeikaxx
Summary: The Teiko Crime Bureau has been sponsored by the Akashi Empire for years, especially famous for their strategies and tricks in making a criminal land themselves into jail. Numerous cases flood in and some take weeks to months to solve. But no one says professional companies don't slack off even for a day.


**Teiko Crime Bureau: The Misadventures**

* * *

The Teiko Crime Bureau has been sponsored by the Akashi Empire for years, especially famous for their strategies and tricks in making a criminal land themselves into jail. Numerous cases flood in and some take weeks to months to solve.

But no one says professional companies don't slack off even for a day.

* * *

In the heart of metropolitan Tokyo, where skyscrapers peek through the clouds and light – no matter artificial nor natural – never dies, a thousand secrets lie unrevealed to the public eye. Through the dark alleys, under the bridges, even hidden in tranquil homes; one knows naught when infamy may happen.

And when it does, the Teiko Crime Bureau is always there to become the marionettist – to play with the strings and carefully tread it, luring the criminal into their hands and eventually manipulating them to admit their own wrongdoing.

Quick and decisive, they finish a case and take up another, quietly working from the shadows.

Headlines scream about them, government investigators come knocking at their door asking for their assistance.

But then there are slow days like these – where Akashi Seijuro just punches in his card and goes through the main doors with warm takeaway coffee in his hand and a briefcase in another - and is instantly met with his two co-workers endlessly having eye sex with each other.

Akashi merely walks over them with his polished black shoes clacking against the linoleum floor. "Any clients?"

One of them clucks a tongue at Akashi in annoyance – and Akashi doesn't fucking care who it is, but they _will_ have a talk with him soon because he is the boss and they do not cluck their tongues at _him._ "Akashi, go away. You're disturbing my boner."

Akashi places down his cup of coffee calmly and sends a swift kick to the other's shin. A howl of pain is heard as he goes behind the counter to check on the client list on Kise Ryota the Receptionist's PC.

No. No. Let's take a step away.

He did not need to see Aomine's dick pic on that very desktop.

He closes his eyes and massages his temples. "Both of you. Get back to work, right this instant."

* * *

Dealing with the infamous co-worker couple in early mornings could most probably be the worst thing to experience. He's had his fair share of bad experiences and witnessing disgusting PDA moments from them.

But what's worse? Coming in to the forensics lab and seeing his reliable friend Midorima Shintaro wearing a wedding veil as he works on dusting fingerprints and piecing together ripped pieces of paper that could prove crucial to a case. Akashi feels like he's _dying, because the day is just starting and he can't possibly take it._

"Midorima," He speaks, eyes turned downwards towards the other's chest so he could avoid looking at the pure white, translucent fabric draped over the other's face, fluttering with every breath he exhales.

"Akashi," He greets back, voice stony. "I know what you're going to say."

Akashi tilts his head to the side, eyes now fixated on Midorima's hands moving a glass slide under a microscope. "Why?"

"Because Oha-Asa, that's why," Midorima says, stepping back to pull off his latex gloves and push his glasses further up his nose. "I simply cannot afford to do mistakes. I must have my lucky item with me at all times to prevent unfortunate events. Man proposes, God disposes, or so they say."

"And your lucky item today is a wedding veil. Wonderful." Akashi replies back without a hint of emotion, clearly getting too tired from Midorima's repeated excuses of bringing unnecessary things into the lab. No matter. As long as Midorima works at his very best, after all.

Akashi is about to step away from the forensics lab with a goodbye, since he was only stopping by to check on everyone, when suddenly Midorima calls for him once more. Something in his voice made Akashi stop and turn back towards him, his intention of leaving now diminishing as he sees the tight lines on Midorima's forehead and the pursed lips.

Silence envelops them both, each passing second eventually convincing Akashi that this could have a relation with their recent case. A high school student kidnapped by her peers and raped and murdered then tied to a tree in Ueno Park; completely gruesome indeed –

"My lucky colour today is blue. I do not have anything blue on me."

Akashi pastes a blue stick-it note on Midorima's chest pocket before leaving.

A hint of joy fills his void heart when he hears Midorima's shocked whisper, with trembling lips, "Thank you."

* * *

Three employees down; three to go. And Akashi decided to drop by the kitchen area of their office first, where Murasakibara will most definitely be at. He walks in and immediately sees the purple-haired monster seated by the island counter, head dangerously close to the lamp hanging above him. Akashi goes over and sits down. "Hello, Murasakibara."

"Mm? Hey, Aka-chin." The purple head drawls, too invested in munching on a frosted cupcake. In front of him, a pile of documents lie. A little peek showed Akashi that his friend here is re-checking the information for an investigation, this one specifically requested by the wife of a minister. He can't help but smile. Murasakibara has always had a penchant for solving matters regarding broken relationships.

"How is it going?" Akashi asks, crossing one of his legs over the other.

Murasakibara blinks sluggishly and gulps down a bite of cupcake. "The cupcakes are really delicious. Kuro-chin knows best."

He drums his fingers over the marble countertop so the twitch of his hand went unnoticeable. "Oh? I meant the investigation, Murasakibara."

"Hmm?" Murasakibara takes another cupcake, and Akashi has never been so tempted to pull the pristine white box of cupcakes away from his hands. "Why are you asking, Aka-chin?"

"Murasakibara," The smaller man raises a questioning eyebrow. "Are you, or are you not, reviewing the information of Minister Tamaki's infidelity case?"

Murasakibara was about to answer, but then he hesitated and instead bites into the cupcake, seemingly decided that another mouthful won't hurt. The frosting immediately stains the edges and corners of his lips – and he takes a piece of paper from the heap in front of him.

He wipes his mouth with the paper and crumples it right in front of Akashi's eyes before throwing it into a waste basket.

Akashi wonders why he hadn't immediately noticed the amount of crumpled paper filling the basket.

"Why are you using our _information documents_ as _napkins_?"

Murasakibara just shrugs. "Because we ran out of napkins."

Akashi had to push back the urge to smash the box of cupcakes into the wall. Instead he pulls out his phone and dials Kise's number, immediately telling him to run to the nearest convenience store and buy some napkins before hanging up.

I am a good boss, Akashi thinks as he swipes away the box of cupcakes from Murasakibara's grabby hands and runs away from the kitchen.

* * *

He's helped by the most normal co-worker in the office.

Momoi spots him in one of the cubicles in their tiny building's second floor, a good distance away from the kitchen, shoving the cupcakes deep inside one of the desk's drawers. Whoever sits here would have to face Murasakibara's wrath and he'd like to consider it as a new method of training.

Momoi Satsuki, their trustworthy information broker, carefully leads him out the cubicle area and to the third floor where his office resides. They had to dive into supply closets to hide from the raging Murasakibara, but they made it through alive.

Overcoming such a situation required skills – and Akashi's never been more than glad to have gone through his own custom training regime.

But when Momoi and Akashi entered the redhead's office, they both fell into a state of shock. Momoi even drops her pretty, pastel-coloured files onto the carpeted floor, hands flying to her face with a big smack sound echoing in the silent room.

Akashi on the other hand, well – he might have malfunctioned for a while there.

Kuroko Tetsuya, his beloved PA, is perched up on his desk wearing one of Akashi's dress shirts, a black pencil skirt and an elegant pair of black stockings that accentuates the soft curves of his legs, clearly freshly shaven, probably the night before. Akashi's libido immediately makes his thoughts go haywire – he imagines his fingers running down Kuroko's smooth, toned legs, massaging them and finding every sensitive area that could make him gasp and shudder. He imagines unbuttoning the dress shirt and reveal Kuroko's beautiful torso in all its glory, milky white with the slightest lines of muscle due to all the training he'd gone through. Never too lithe, never too packed with muscles. A feature bordering femininity and masculine.

Kuroko slides down from the table, his skirt riding up just slightly and revealing the equally white skin underneath. "Good morning, Akashi-kun," He pauses and chances a glance at the third wheeler. "Momoi-san."

Momoi seems to immediately get the signal and retreats to her workspace – which is just outside the birch doors they had gone through. Akashi and Kuroko pay her no heed as they approach each other.

"What's the occasion?" Akashi asks, reaching out and sliding his fingers down Kuroko's cheek, thumb affectionately rubbing a patch of flushed skin.

"A congratulatory present, if you will," Kuroko leans into his touch and hums softly. "For the success of this company for five years straight."

Akashi immediately smirks, wrapping an arm around Kuroko's waist and pulling him closer, lightly moving his hips against the other. "Thank you for the kind thought."

"Of course," Kuroko gasps, leaning in to drop a soft, chaste kiss onto Akashi's lips despite the obviously suggestive movements of their hips and provocative clothing that he'd donned. "Akashi-kun has done the most for the society, after all, after the company's founded."

Akashi's hand drops from Kuroko's cheeks to his supple ass, squeezing one of the cheeks and pressing themselves closer, groaning once their crotches press against each other. Their hips sway from the movement, and Akashi leans in to blow into Kuroko's ear. "Your presence in this company is enough of a gift for me, love."

Kuroko whines and thrusts against Akashi, head dropping into the crook of his partner's neck to kiss and nip against the skin.

"You have a meeting with the police department in approximately two hours," Kuroko's fingers start working on taking Akashi's tie off. Once the tie is thrown to the side, the shirt is unbuttoned, then Kuroko slides his hands underneath the white fabric to feel the smooth pane of Akashi's chest and the delightful feel of the bumps of his lover's six pack under his palms.

"We have enough time for a round or two, don't we," Kuroko shoots him a naughty smile, and Akashi has to do his best to not push his PA down and just ravish him on the floor then and there.

Instead he roughly kisses him, pressing his lips forcefully onto Kuroko's, enjoying the soft feel of his lips and the wonderful taste of sweet strawberry. _Lip balm,_ Akashi muses, urging Kuroko's lips to part as he tries to push his tongue through.

"Akashi-kun," Kuroko lets out a naughty, needy moan, as he encircles his arms around Akashi and reaches down to grope Akashi's ass, his thrusting becoming fervent.

"That's right, baby, come for me," Akashi whispers into his ears, moaning himself when he feels just how absolutely _lustful_ his beloved Kuroko is. "God, you're sexy."

Kuroko just outright gasps, because oh, he absolutely loves it when Akashi whispers dirtily to him. Akashi's voice itself is one of his strongest turn-on factors, and to hear it in his ears as they indecently express their love – it was just so unbelievably hot, it's absolutely scalding.

But it's not enough, so Kuroko grabs one of Akashi's hands and shoves it right into his skirt and panties, moaning loudly when he feels the skin-on-skin contact.

Akashi can't take it anymore so he does just like what Kuroko wants him to do – he runs his fingers up and down Kuroko's length, plays with the white pearls dripping from his slit, squeezing affectionately and increasing his speed.

"Akashi-kun," Kuroko licks his lips, and Akashi has never seen a naughtier angel. "More."

"Oh, Tetsuya –"

Unbelievably, the door is slammed open and strides in Nijimura Shuuzou and his trusty partner Himuro Tatsuya in all their mighty glory, their detective badges pinned on their coats, gleaming. "Hey, we got a case for you – and _what the absolute fuck._ "

Akashi turns to them and nods at them both, his hand still moving in Kuroko's panties. Heck does he care that they walked in on him – it was his territory, he could do whatever he wants. They strayed in, therefore the consequences were for them to bear. If they got out the building completely traumatized, then that's not Akashi's problem.

Kuroko on the other hand clamps his mouth shut and glares at them. "Nijimura-san, please leave and don't come back for another three days."

Himuro Tatsuya drags the petrified Nijimura away and out of Akashi's office. But before he left, he sees Himuro giving Kuroko a thumbs-up and a knowing smile – and Kuroko's eyes shone with gratitude and mirth.

Someday, he thinks, he really does need to thank Himuro Tatsuya for introducing is Tetsuya to the wonderful world of kinks.

* * *

Kuroko's limping effectively catches the attention of their co-workers.

"Kuroko-cchi, are you okay?! Oh my God, do you need a lift?"

"Tetsu, you weren't very careful in your last mission, huh."

"That is exactly why I always advise you to carry your lucky item with you. Misfortune can happen at any time of the day."

"Hm… Kuro-chin, why does your butt hurt when you sit? Did they accidentally kick your butt?"

Only Momoi turns to Akashi and smiles.

 _How dare you do that to my Tetsu-kun until he limps like that I understand you can be fucking amazing but cute, innocent, poor Tetsu-kun has to suffer from this because you want to be satisfied and how come he's the only one experiencing the after effects of sex, I can't even –_

Despite Momoi being a professional information gatherer, apparently she doesn't know that Akashi's dick does get sore sometimes after making love repeatedly with Kuroko.

But all thoughts of sore dicks fly away from his mind when Kuroko turns around and flashes one of the hickeys on his neck at him, placed on the beautiful slope of his neck, looking appealing as ever, accompanied together with a small smirk.

He walks away with a sway of his hips, somehow still effective on Akashi as he feels the beginnings of arousal pool in his stomach - even with the limping.

That very evening Akashi finds himself on his knees with Kuroko's dick in his mouth.

* * *

 ** _AUTHOR'S NOTE_**

 _-this is just so unbelievably self-satisfactory oh god i'm crying I need to repent for my sins brb_

 _-I just felt the need to be productive once in a while so hey why not fanfiction_

 _-also take this as a gift from me for Valentine's Day, for all you single readers, even though it's... already the twenty-first pls forgive_


End file.
